'Ghetto' Category
Appreciating vs. Depreciating Assets
THE FOLLOWING APPEARED ON CRAIG’S LIST :
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how [...]Ikhtilaaf
An English professor wrote the words “woman without her man is nothing” on the blackboard and directed her students to punctuate it correctly.
The male students wrote: “Woman, without her man, is nothing.”
The female students wrote: “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.”Junk Food. You Know You Love It.
Yes you do. trying to say anything else means you’re in denial.
So listen up.
I think most people have been brainwashed by the health industry. Its a multi-billion dollar-/-year industry and its interested in nothing except promoting this Utopian image of what the “perfect body” is. You all are a bunch of suckers [...]Smartypants
Yes, you.
You think you know freaking everything.Â
Well, answer these:Why do we need a hot water heater? If it’s hot it doesn’t need to be heated.
How can we have jumbo shrimp?
Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why do our noses run and our feet smell?
Why does quicksand work slowly?
Why [...]*splat*
Look, I’m pretty sure this is completely normal … I mean, don’t birds take a s**t on the bushes anyways?
Bird Sh*ts on Bush During Press Conference
Hat tip to Fahad S. for the link.ÂDumb? Or Just Ice Cold?
The devil visited a lawyer’s office and made him an offer.
“I can arrange some things for you,” the devil said. “I’ll increase your income five-fold, your partners will love you, your clients will respect you, you’ll have four months of vacation each year, and you’ll live to be 100. All I require in return is [...]Expecting Fat?
So, we were at some party last night for some girl we know who’s getting engaged to some guy from the ‘hood.
And a bunch of us were sitting around discussing my idea for selling Drano-Coke at fast food restaurants. And in sum, I’ve concluded it probably won’t work for women but men should [...]BETTER THAN EID!!!
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
MY MISHY-BABY FOUND ME!!!
I’M SO HAPPY OH MY OH LA LAAAAAAAAAAAAA
YOU SEE THIS DAMN SMILE ON MY FACE??!!! IT AINT GOING NOWHERE, NOT FOR A LONGGG TIME!!!!(Dis)Order in the Court!
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
Show these to your parents next time they ask you to go [...]Of Corporations and Cows.
SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM: You [...]